My Adoption

Age: 11----Location: In the court, in front of a judge

I had taken a day out of school to go to court to get adopted. Several days earlier, MamaJohnson had asked me if I wanted to be adopted. I was caught off guard with her bluntness and lack of elaboration. After all, this question had come out of the blue. But I knew that as fast as this question came was as fast as the chance of being kicked out of the house. So my mouth said “yes” as I knew that I loved her and was comfortable with the life I had.

Background information: I lived in a foster home, this foster home since I was one and this was my home. This house, this place had also been home to many others, many came, many left. They disappear without a trace as I remember only their face and little fond memories of them. I was afraid of disappearing to a place like them which I was ignorant to. Leaving would have destroyed me as this place i called home began to define who I was; a sister, a daughter, a loved one.

These thoughts began to associate with what the answer “no” really meant, so when the judge asked me if I wanted to be adopted by Ms. Marie Johnson, I said “yes.” ...

And then it was over. We drove home from the busy building as I anticipated me taking of the big puffy dress which I was forced to wear. The car ride was quiet, strangly, even as we pulled to the front of the house. I jumped out the car looking and waiting for MamaJohnson to open the door to the house. We both walked through the house slowly, looking to see if a conversation would occur. But It didnt and I didn't want to talk anywayz-I couldn't. I mean, I felt powerless in this situation, like I had little control over my own life.... I avoided eye contact and I stayed aloof as I walked through the house and into my room.

...And in my bedroom, which had became a place of solitude, I looked for a place of Life that wasn’t so fast paced... Daydreams filled my head and I picked up where I left off before-- of a life where I was apart of a “traditional” nuclear family with two parents that loved me, a sister that protected me and a younger one that looked up to me......